I Thought Pregnancy Was A Fairy Tale…

Ahh pregnancy…It’s supposed to be a beautiful, wonderful, magical experience in every woman’s life. It is all a fairy tale full of butterflies, rainbows, and baby dust. Right? Maybe I was naive, but this was truly the picture I had in my head of pregnancy. Sure I knew there were the really sucky parts such as being a little sick the first week or so and then towards the end being really big and uncomfortable, but those were all things you could totally deal with no problem. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Let’s start off with that morning sickness thing. Whoever decided to call it morning sickness was a freaking moron. More like starts first thing in the morning and lasts until the next morning sickness. I’m one of the lucky 1-3% of women who suffer from this magical fairy tale thing called Hyperemesis Gravidarum. This cool thing call HG is where you literally vomit your life away. I mean tell me how beautiful that is? In all seriousness though HG is a really rough thing. I have never been this sick before in my life. It started at 6 weeks on the dot for me and here I am at 15 weeks and it’s still kicking. My days consist of throwing up non stop and being so nauseated I can’t function in between the vomiting. It gets so bad that you can’t eat or drink anything for days and then you have to go to the hospital and get IV fluids. Even as heavily medicated as I am now, I still find myself dealing with the nausea and occasional vomiting every day. I pray every single day that this ends soon and doesn’t follow me to the end of my pregnancy.

Now, let’s talk about the whole getting big thing. When my husband and I went in for our very first ultrasound we could not wait to see the tiny little thing on the screen. What we actually saw though were 2 tiny little things on the screen! That’s right, we’re having TWINS! Boy were we shocked! One baby we had planned for. Prayed for. Tried to conceive for over a year. We were ecstatic to find out that we were doubly blessed with 2 babies after such an emotional struggle to get just one! So there’s a lot of new stuff that comes along with having twins. Like A LOT. But since I’m only 15 weeks now, I haven’t experienced most of them yet. Except the getting big part. See before I got pregnant I was a really little girl. I’m tall, 5’8, but very thin. I always have been. I only weighed about 120lbs. I expected my pregnancy to not change my body much. Most girls I know who have the same tall and thin body type as me, you just can’t tell they’re pregnant until closer to the end. This is another one of those moments where I want to laugh hysterically at how naive I was. At 13 weeks I had a belly. A huge belly. Okay, not really huge, but pretty big. I could no longer button any of my jeans at 8 weeks. By 12 I was in full on maternity pants. Here I am 15 weeks now and I seriously look like I’m about 20 weeks pregnant. Now I know, I know, I’m pregnant with twins so this is totally normal and to be expected, but it’s a lot different to wrap your head around when it’s actually happening to you. I’m already starting to feel the pain of trying to bend down to pick things up off the floor. It’s not necessarily that I’m too big to bend over yet, but it’s starting to get extremely uncomfortable. Did I mention that I’m only 15 weeks? I’m not even halfway through this pregnancy yet. I absolutely cannot imagine the monstrosity that my body will be at 38 weeks. On that note, we’re planning on going on vacation in August so I’ll be about 22 weeks then. If y’all see the beached whale on the Florida coast, it’s just me, don’t panic.

Lastly, let’s talk about fatigue. The word fatigue just doesn’t do it justice. I’m so tired I don’t think I have enough energy to breathe most days. I used to run a lot and was an extremely hyper person. I can barely walk up a single flight of stairs now without feeling like I’m going to need CPR. Good thing I’m a nurse and work in the hospital because somebody is probably going to find me passed out in the stairwell one of these days. I used to be the best morning person in the history of morning people. I woke up an hour earlier for work every day than I really had to so that I could enjoy my morning coffee and talk in the break room with my coworkers before we started out day. I also used to get up by 6 on the weekends to start my day because mornings are my favorite part of the day. Well that’s just a funny joke now. These days I wake up with enough time to throw up for a while, brush my teeth, and make it to work just in time to clock in. Weekends, you ask? Oh they’re for sleeping. My weekends now consist of wake up at noon, throw up, eat, throw up, sleep until 6pm, throw up, eat, throw up, go to bed for the night at 9pm. Seriously, I can’t even make this bull crap up.

Don’t get me wrong, there are so many magical things about pregnancy. Seeing your babies on an ultrasound is such a crazy wonderful experience. Even the terribleness of watching your belly get SUV size is amazing because there’s two human beings growing in there. And let me tell ya, growing two tiny people is super hard work. I am however still waiting on this wonderful feeling of pregnancy overall and I think the whole having twins thing will prevent me from that. I will probably trade out my terrible sickness for being even more terribly huge.

Side note: My best friend is also pregnant right now. She’s 3 days ahead of me with one baby. Pretty cool, right? She’s having the amazing pregnancy. Her morning sickness lasted the first couple weeks and even though she will tell you she feels huge, she’s still super tiny. I’m insanely jealous of her getting the rainbows and butterflies experience. But I absolutely cannot wait for us to have best friend babies together!!

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